What are you thinking right now? Are you worrying about family members, thinking about what you are going to have for dinner, wondering how you are going to pay for that bill? Thinking about why the boy you like hasn't text you back?
What are you actually saying to yourself? What words are you using? Are your thoughts in the past, present or future?
The talk inside our heads is ‘Self Talk’. For many years I was my own worst enemy… “Why did you eat so many chips Jane? Why are you not exercising enough? I am going to get sick”
What about YOU? Are your thoughts nurturing, or do you pick on yourself? Do you speak to yourself like you are a small child or scold yourself for eating too much of this or that, or staying up too late?
Do you call yourself names like ‘dumb, worthless, fat, hopeless or silly!’
It has taken me many years to be my own best friend, to become aware of my inner thoughts and what I am saying to myself. I have decided if I wouldn’t say it to a friend, I will not say it to myself.
We spend so much of our energy thinking about what we DON’T want. “I don’t want to get fired… I don’t want to be overcharged… I don’t want to go to that party… I don’t want it to rain!”
This anticipates the worse, the anticipatory anxiety increases the more we think about it, the more energy we give it, the greater the fear, the more negative our self-talk becomes.
Give energy to what you DO want! I have shared this philosophy with my student’s, clients, friends and family. Think about what you WANT not what you don’t want.
Why not focus on what we want instead!
“I would love a sunny day, I would like to get that job, I would love a new puppy, I want to be healthy and wise. I am doing really well! I know he will call soon!"
What we say to ourselves really does matter. Our negative self-talk becomes a pattern and before we
know it, we actually believe it. Our self-talk is so powerful. Shifts can happen in our brain physiology.
How often do you look in the mirror and begin to find all the faults! Try looking in the mirror and naming three things you like about yourself before you start to pick on you! Just try it!
How often have we driven down to Hasting Street Noosa and said, “We won’t be able to get a park!”
Next time you want a park, think about getting one. Notice how quickly your self-talk will challenge you! Take time to become aware of what you are saying to yourself. Just try it!
Working on positive self-talk takes time. It’s a skill! With practise we can all achieve an encouraging internal dialogue. This begins with awareness, listening to our inner voice, changing the narrative if we don’t like it, and most importantly giving energy to what we want!
Try it, you have nothing to lose!
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